I roll up to the US border, on my way back to school after spending the weekend at home, I fish around in my purse for my passport and visa documents:

Almost there. Where is that passport?? I thought I put it in this purese - ohmygod! Did I leave it back at ho-no wait, here it is. I need to get more organized. New resolution - get organized with important documents. Is in the next car picking his nose!? Buddy, there are dozens of cars around you will you watch it with that? Oh great, he's got Ontario plates. Now I can't even say it's an American thing. Way to make us proud, my friend. Why am I still here? I'm next, but I've been here forever - oh, it's been 1 minute. What is this that I'm listening to? How do I manage to get random songs on my iPod that I've never heard of? Oh wait, no time, the guy in front of me is leaving. Finally my turn. Okay, here we go, easy-peasy. Why would I think that phrase? I don't think I've ever said it out loud. The car still isn't moving, what's up? Well I have my answers ready - they always ask the same things. "Carrying any alcohol, firearms or food miss?" "Nope, nothing" followed by sweet, innocent smile. Works like a charm. COME ON BUDDY MOVE IT!! Ok there he goes. I wonder if I'll get that nice older guy I've had a couple times. He's always nice and chatty. Whoa, this dude doesn't seem nice...or chatty. Plan A, be the friendly one.

>"Hi, how are you?"

>>"Nationality?"

>"Uh, Canadian" I say handing over my documents. Okay, so he didn't reply, maybe he didn't hear you. It is pretty windy. That's it, the wind carried your voice.

>>"Where are you headed?"

>"Back to school, back to the books that whole grind, you know how it is." Play up the nonchalantness. Good job.

>>"Any alcohol, weapons or plants that you're bringing in?"

>"Nope, just clothes, no point in bringing in too much for the weekend right?" Okay, here comes the food question, be honest, lest you be caught lying. They have beef with bringing beef. Ha! Funny. Why doesn't he look happy while he's checking my papers?

>>"Uh huh" he says as he glances up from his computer with an eyebrow raised, "any grocery or food items?"

>"Well just a couple chicken things my mom made me. Can't get mom's cooking at school, right?" Stop talking, stop talking. For the love of God why are you talking so much!? "I was told it was okay to bring that in, thankfully huh? Otherwise I'd just have to somehow bring her in with me, ha ha...ha" SHUTUPSHUTUP.

>> "Yeah, open your trunk and unlock your back doors Miss."


Ah sh--. I'm in for a "random check" aren't I? I shouldn't have smiled so much. Or talked. I can't believe he -- seriously, who's downloading songs on my iPod without telling me...?!

Do you ever get the feeling that you are more aware than others? That you are more in tune to the world around you and that you just get "it" and that most people are missing "it". This may be the feeling you get when you see the popularity of mock-celebrities such as Paris Hilton, hear about people falling over the newest diet fad (heard of the "texture diet"? This is the one in which each meal is made up of four different food items: one crunchy, one soft, one hot, and one cold. In addition, the plate must also be made up of foods that are in bold, contrasting colors), or when you look at the number of people who voted George W. Bush in for a second term.

I wouldn't say that I feel I am better than anyone else - though mind you, I may feel that way if and when I win a Pulitzer, til then I'm keeping a modest profile - but it's this awareness that you seem to understand more than others. Could it be that the world is just made up of the naive and non-naive and I just fall into the latter category? Well, no, that's probably not it since I did end up believing that by purchasing anti-aging products I could prevent non-existent wrinkles (stupid infomercial).

I think people have a need for wanting to feel both part of the crowd and singled out. We don't want to stray too far from the flock for fear that we won't be let back in and will be alone. But, at the same time, we want to stick out enough so that others see that we are special. It's an odd tug-o'-war. Of course there are those who will fall into extremes on either side of the spectrum, but what's the point of a spectrum if there are no extremes, right? You may think this is not true, ("who me? Want to be special? Nah, I'm fine just the way I am!") but we have all made some sort of attempt to get attention and make our mark - to be remembered.

Don't believe me? Everything from wanting to move up in a career, to joining Facebook (evilevilevil) and even creating a blog is a way to inform people that you are alive and have something of importance to contribute to the world before your chance is over. Heck, even the guy belting out schmaltzy love songs while strumming away on his gutiar in the subway station is vying for attention and maybe even hoping some sort of music producer will be so moved that he'll snatch him up right there and sign him to a million dollar contract.

So is it a bad thing? Should we be content with what we have rather than wonder how many friends you have on you MySpace page compared to your best friend? Hell no. What kind of prosaic life would that be. People would being to wander aimlessly in the streets, having no real goals. Girls wouldn't long for a signature Tiffany necklace in order to make their friends jealous. Guys wouldn't go near a shopping centre since they won't care about making a good impression. Scientists wouldn't race to finish their experimental trials in order to be the first to publish their findings. Dostoevsky would not have had a norm to revolt against with his existential views because there would be no norm.

Truth is, we need to have a bigger mass of people who are slightly naive and prefer to conform so that those who want to diverge from the crowd will have something to diverge from. Like it or not, without the ditzy teen queens of the popular media (I'm talking to you Hilton, Lohan, Spears), you wouldn't pay much attention to the ones who were "different" or making a significant contribution to the world (cue: Angelou, Ferrara, Klein, Maathai). Maybe these ladies in the latter category are more aware than the "ladies" in the former; they get "it".

P.S. I was kidding about the Pulitzer thing. I wouldn't think of myself as being better having won that. Now the Nobel prize...that's a different story...I'd totally be better than the non-Nobel prize winners.

Why a new blog?
Why not?

No, really, why?
It's a new year, many things have changed and I wanted to start a new blog for a number of months now but decided to wait until the new year. Plus the URL for the old one never made much sense since I made it up in frustration when my many other choices failed (who knew babygirlangelstarchocolateluvrkittiesarecute would be taken?)

Are you keeping the old one?
I can't handle juggling more than 3 TV shows let alone the amount of work for school, so that'll be a "no". But I have moved over all the archives for my own sake, or in case I have a perturbed stalker who needs to know everything about me and will comb through 2 years worth of posts to find out more.

Will there be any difference between the old blog and this new one?
Not really. Though I had initially thought to change what I would post, I decided that it wouldn't have made sense since I'd eventually wander back to the same format.

What's with the title?
There's a very big reason why the phrase is important to me, and only one other person in the whole wide world knows what it means. That being said, this reason will not make sense or have meaning to anyone else in the whole wide world other than that one person. But the best part is that the title does have more than one meaning besides this super-top-secret one.

Chai is the word for tea in India, and from my understanding many other parts of South Asia and the Middle East. Chai is the first thing offered to guests and a daily ritual (like the use of coffee in North America) for everyone. There are a number of ways to prepare it but usually it's black tea that is boiled with water and milk to make the drink stronger.

I used the phrase "half a cup" because it shows my perspective on life; I'm not a glass-half-empty nor am I glass-half-full person but somewhere in the middle. And my family is of Indian heritage so it just fit in a lot of way.

Are things going to pick up on Lost when it starts again in February?
Good God I hope so.

Are you being endorsed by Lipton or Tetley now?
Though I would be game if an offer was ever sent my way to advertise either brand's products, I am not currently receiving any benefits. Though I will admit that I'm more partial to the Tazo Tea brand of teas, my favourite type being Awake (Tazo Tea reps, holla at cha girl, will you?)

Shouldn't you be studying rather than blogging?
No further questions, please. This concludes the Question and Answer segment of the blog. Please refer any further inquiries to the comments section and they may be addressed. Thank you.

I'd love to hear any suggestions, comment or crticism on the new blog but I'll accept silence as approval as well.