Sunday, August 05, 2007

Today it just hit me that I am really missing my little sister growing up while being away. I just saw some pictures of her that were taken today and comparing that to just a few months ago when I was home, she seems so much older! I didn't think 8 year olds could hit growth spurts like that in 3-4 months! She just looked much more mature and different and it's bothering me so much.

I haven't seen her since I got here since their webcam does not work and no one's had time to get a replacement so the change seems so sudden. My mom said she'd gotten taller, but I guess because changes in your face are so gradual that people you see every day don't notice.

She and I are about 16 years apart - I always knew there'd come a time where my brother (3 years younger than me) and I would be off living our lives and she'd be on her own. And for some reason I almost feel guilty. Like I should be there in her house to play with her and be bored with her, especially now that she's on summer vacation. Despite there being 4 other people in the house right now (parents, brother and my grandmother), she's just as alone since everyone is busy. They make time for her as best as they can, but it's so different from when my brother and I were little.

Back then we'd have each other to annoy and play with when we were bored and our parents had more time. But both my parents run their own businesses so there's always something to be done and their working hours can be all over the place. And my brother is moving out next month to start a Masters program in downtown Toronto.

By the time I'm done this program she'll be a little over 10 years old and I feel like she's growing up without me, other than on the phone. My brother and I have had such a big influence on each other's lives and I'm afraid we won't get to have the same bond with her.


This is not a whining fest about how unfair life is - I'm grateful for this opportunity for my life to be here to study, but sometimes I wish I had stayed home just for her sake.

(the picture on the top left is of my dad and sister at the beach when they came down here to Australia with me in May)

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11 Comments:
Blogger Bre said...
I feel like the fact that you're aware of the challenge means that you're going to put in the extra effort to be sure that she doesn't lack for sisterly goodness because you're not around!

Blogger Humz said...
hey sweetie - hang in there. I'm sure she knows you'll always be there if she has a problem - you're just a phone call away. n she is very lucky to have such a loving sis. HUGS!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Aww... absence makes the heart grow fonder though. I am sure she will now cherish you even more.

Blogger ZenDenizen said...
I know how you feel. It's amazing how much my niece changes everytime I see her. She's almost 4 now and speaks English but I wish she was still the same chubby cheeked 2 year old who could only mumble a few words in Gujarati.

Blogger Hash & Hana said...
Hey you, will you be back in Dec.? I wanted to invite u to Noor's bday IA. Let me know.

Blogger 'liya said...
I love the photo, it's really beautiful!

My brother and I are 12 years apart and even though I see him everyday, I understand what you mean. My sisters are closer in age to me and we grew up together and always had each other to talk and play with. I worry about him like how you do about your sister because I know my sisters and I will be out of the house while he's growing up and because I feel guilty for that, I try to be with him as much as possible even if it's just doing annoying things. When I'm not home, I call him, and even though he pretends that he doesn't want to talk to me, I can tell he likes it that I call. Your phone calls will mean a lot to her and she WILL love that time she gets to talk to you on the phone, and talking to you will make her want to see her more, so she'll look forward even mor eto your visits. You and your brother should set up a "special time" each day for her when you can call her and she knows to expect a call, or even have a three-way conversation with her - an 8 year old would love that attention!

Blogger AKA said...
Bre - I do try to do what I can, both when I'm home and here. But while being at school it's difficult with the time difference and me just being plain busy. But I'll keep at it :)

Humz - Could you tell her that? lol, thanks though :) she knows she can call me anytime - and she has before she learned the time difference!

Haleem - That's very true - I've learned to appreciate family and friends a lot more since being away.

Zendenizen - Once they learn to talk, they learn to talk back haha! But I know what you mean, every time you turn around these kids have grown a foot or are doing something so adult-like.

Hana - I would love to be there for Noorie! I am definitely going to be home in December - I think I'm back around Dec 17th...will keep you posted.

'liya - it's nice to know someone who has a similar issue with a sibling :) I am definitely going to try to work out something with my brother so we can do that. Even teach her to use MSN maybe? It's funny you mentioned doing annoying things - as mean as it may be, my brother and I annoy her a lot and my mom always gets mad at us for it! But we tell her that my sis won't have a normal sibling relationship if we don't do it, so we're doing it out of love for her sake haha!

Blogger Roonie said...
I feel you. I have a little sister that just turned 9 on Saturday. I remember feeding her bottles when she was a baby!

I guess it doesn't help that she lives with my dad and I don't speak to him anymore. Talk about missing a little girl's childhood.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It is something to me and i couldnt be that close to my sis as much as i am to my brother. I hurts me sometimes.. I came back home 5 months ago and i started to practice my duty as a sis untill i go to other city or country again..

Blogger mezba said...
I have a long gap with my younger one and how I fight with my parents because they are intent on babying him and he takes full advantage!

Blogger Humairah Irfan said...
Yea... I lived in Canada for 5 years, and had left my sister @ 11... and my mother would often tell me how she's taking very long in getting used to it.
Now that I'm back, Alhamdulillah, I've done as much as I could to get close to her, and it's great! :)
Except, sometimes, my parents still treat me as if it was 6 years ago..hehe!