To my friend,


I know I've been an idiot (maybe a little worse than that but I'm going to stay away from profanity). Last week on the phone I was rude to you without intentionally doing it. I didn't mean for what I said to come out the way I said it. I was on the other line with someone, aruging, and so upset and still "in the moment" I switched over to you a lost, what I though I was maintaining fairly well, my cool.

I know you're only and always worried about my well-being, and for that I'm forever grateful to you. I've been so frustrated and at ends with myself lately, as the numbers on my countdown get smaller, that I've become irritable, and immersed in self-wallowing. You don't deserve to get the bad end of that though. And it's truly beyond me how I've been blessed witha friend like you. I sometimes think it's just so I can make myself a better person. And to make it worse I went a week without saying an apology. Probably, as always, afraid of confrontation, but more so because I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I know I've kept you upset for a week and that makes me feel worse.

I know this has been our sensitive point - me not saying what upsetting me, and then getting you upset. I never learn do I? But the miracle is that you've always stuck by me. And I know with your heart, you will continue to always do so (it sounds like I should be proposing to you about now doesn't it?). Regardless of what happens in 2 months from today, I'd be only good-fortuned if I can stay as close friends with you today and even three years from now.

I'm out to publicly embarrass myself with this apology on this blog because I very well know I deserve it. With any luck, you'll forgive me and we can continue what we once were. And you can talk me out of buying another purse of eBay.