So lemme 'splain you this whole situation with my name...well, names.

I get a lot of question, so figured I'd start a FAQ on "Why do you have two names?"

1. Why do you have two names?

Whenever I get this question, I have to launch into The Story:

It all goes back 23 years (exactly to this Sunday Oct 30th) to a time when my parents were young and naive and I was born. Being their first child, they were very clueless as to what to do with me, as most unexperienced parents are. Their first task as new parents was to give me a name. My dad at that time was adamant on keeping my name traditional and religious, while my mom wanted the name to keep those elements but make it unique and easy on the Western tongue to pronounce. It was a long and testy battle. Many names were brought to the field then shot down. My mom said "how about Sakina", and dad said something about why his family wouldn't like it. Dad said "Ruqqaiyah" my mom said that the Canadians would just be baffled with the number of letters and may start calling me "Rocky".

Then mom said "I like Afreen. It's unique, cultural and has a great meaning".
Dad replied with "Yeah, but Khadeeja is a strong and religious name and that's what I want".
"No one will be able to pronounce it...the name is great, but it'll get butchered. I want 'Afreen'".
Frustrated they both turned to look at me, possibly trying to determine which name I looked like I should have.

I must have been asleep, because they both came to the decision that I would have both names. "Afreen" to be used with close family and friends, and officially Khadeeja to the rest of the world.

2. I don't get it...why are you called both, most middle names are never used?

Looking back I wish I had been awake and possibly this whole confusing matter would have been avoided altogether.

But as it happens, in the Indian (and maybe Pakistani) culture it's a practice for many families to adopt a nickname or just a simpler name for children to be called at home, while their official name may run about 30 characters long. So you'll see many families with a "Pinky", "Guddu", "Tina", "Babli", "Bunty" running around. Or just another name altogether (as in my case). You could go a lifetime of living next door to your neighbour and not knowing him by any other name than "Chotu chacha ka beta Bablu" translated as "Little uncle's son Bablu".

So since my parents decided to give me one name officially, they simultaneously decided to give me another name to use at home and with family.

3. Does it get confusing?

Hell yeah.

I think I was ok until about university. All my school friends and coworkers knew me as "Khadeeja" since that's what I was registered as. Meanwhile my family and family friends all knew me as "Afreen". Then when university came along, the two worlds began to clash and family friends met with school friends in the same setting.

Sometimes I think people from each side talked about me to each other as if I were two different people. Until they add up all the clues to realize that I am indeed one whole person and not twins, or somone with a multiple personality disorder...speaking of which

4. "LOL...so you have an excuse to have multiple personalities right?" - Anonymous Questioner

Well, sure I guess...

5. So, which name do you like better?

Hard to say. I'm not especially partial to one over the other because they're both good names. Plus then, I'd have to pick between my mom and dad's choices, and I'm too diplomatic to do that.

6. How do you introduce yourself?

The following is an actual scene that has taken place countless of times and pretty much explains it all.

>"Hi my name is <insert name here> , what's your's?

>>Uhhh (quick, where am I and is there any chance this person would know any of my family or family friends? No...ok...I'm going with Khadeeja...I'm going to have to repeat it because no one seems to get it the first time around. Oh wait...I'm at a family friend's house, they call me by Afreen, this could get confusing and I don't want to tell them The Story...better go with Afreen) my name is Afreen"

>"Nice to meet you Afreen (why the hell did it take her so long to give me her name? Maybe she's a little slow...)

>>>[Enter a third person who knows me by Khadeeja..] "Hey Khadeeja, how's it going!"

>"I thought you said your name is Afreen..??"

>>"It is..."

>"But she just called you Khadeeja...!?"

>> "Oh that's my name..too...(here it comes)"

>"Huh? (I was right...slow)"

>>"You see...about 23 years ago...."

7. Do you have any nicknames?

I can barely keep track of who's calling me by which actual name, so I've lost track - but yes I've got loads of nicknames. No, I'm not writing out the list.

8. So...what do I call you?

It'sall gravy baby...call me whichever you like, and should you think of an approved (by me) nickname, kudos to you - go for it.

9. >Which one are you right now? LOL" - Anonymous Questioner

>>Which one? "Umm...one person, two names - I'm both."

>"Yeah, but if you had to choose which one to be?"

>>"Look, there goes my cell phone, I should take this call..."

>" LOL...coo"

10. Do your brother and sister also have a second name?

Nope. As it happens with all families, pretty much all the mistakes and regrets are made with the eldest child (i.e. me), while the children who come along later have the benefit of not facing the same problems.

11. Is Afdeeja an option for a nickname?

No.

12. Is Khafreen an option? (by request)

Yes. (But only if you'd rather I coldly ignore you when you call me that...I don't want to know how many people who would still opt to do it)